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It starts here.

it’s personal.

I’m a addict.

that first opening “I’m an addict” it’s so openly said for who knows how many will read those words but not in my life not in my reality in this real world where I take my young child to her kindy twice a week and chit chat with her educators and staff about her big plans for her upcoming 5th birthday celebrations with a cheerful and upbeat manner while I put her things away for her day to start. Everything seems for that small-time from another’s judging eye that I’m as plain jane as the next plan jane is about to walk through the childcare centres doors. This is how I live my whole life. In some spit world. An alternate universe constantly balancing between what the normal person who pays their taxes works there 9-5 job and comply always with the rules we all are told to follow

and the other reality

I’m an addict. I’m as you put it so well a user, a drugo, junky… I’m standing in my child’s childcare with a fake smile that’s hurting my face trying to hold talking to some overweight childcare teacher who can’t recall my child’s first name and all I’m forcing all my energy into at that very moment is too not swear while having this stupid conversation iv had many times over about my little girls birthday that isn’t for another 5months away while praying she does not keep blabbing on any longer so I can flee as soon as possible with it being noticeable rude. There’s one thing on my mind every Monday when I’m standing there itching to escape.

Drugs.

those of you who read this will either be from one world or the other and will either fully understand or not understand either way I’m here to reach out too both sides. The side of the typical person living a “normal existence” and to the ones living on the dark side either playing the same old game as me or being completely taken over from the darkness. This is my life.

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